There have been times when I really felt the love and presence of Father God. It seemed as though I was the most special person in the world to him. He and I were going to do great things together.

There have been times when I stopped feeling that love and presence, but saw other people experiencing it. This was upsetting and evoked jealousy. It felt like God had moved on from me, and now he thought someone else was the most special person in the world. I know I’m not alone in having these feelings. 

I have good news. There is freedom from being stuck in this comparison game. I would say that I experienced this freedom before I really understood it, but I want to share a part my understanding of it here with you. Consider this example:

Let’s say you have 2 sons. Your older son especially likes to have your attention. He doesn’t really like it when you play with his younger brother. He wants all of your attention to be on him. When you give your attention to his younger brother, he gets really upset and jealous. He interprets your love and attention towards his brother as him being less special. Less loved.

From your point of view, your love for him is never changing. You love him the same at all times and it doesn’t change. When his younger brother was born, you didn’t start loving him less in order to make room for his brother. You maintained your love for him and added to that an equal love for his younger brother.

Because you are limited by space and time, you’re unable to look at them both in the eyes at the same time, unable to play with full attention on both at the same time, unable to talk to them as individuals at the same time. Due to your limits, your time must be split between them. If your older son interprets your time and attention as the currency of your love, then he is going to feel unloved when your time and attention is now directed towards his younger brother.

It is therefore really important for him to understand that you can use your time and attention (or presence) and voice to express to him in a tangible way your love for him, but these are mere expressions or manifestations of your love, not the actual love itself. It’s important that when he sees you playing with his brother, he can rest in the fact that your love for him remains the same. You haven’t switched over to now loving his brother more and him less. You have the capacity within you to love them both at the same time, even though you don’t have the capacity to give them equal attention at the same time.

You would want to wean him off the need to feel your love physically and to know that your love for him exists even when he’s not directly “feeling” it.

You’re limited by your time (have a limited amount), by your presence (can only be in one place at a time), and by your selfishness (“love” for yourself at the expense of your sons).

Our Father in heaven has no such limitations. He is the creator of time and is not limited by It. He is ever and always present, not limited to having his attention on one person at a time, and He defines true love in giving up everything for the sake of others. He has no selfish, worldly love to speak of that would cause Him to withhold His love for us. He is constantly spilling the entirety of it out on us. The full weight of it.

When his first son was born, he loved that son absolutely. Fully. The “apple of his eye”. The most special person in the world to him. When his second son was born, he loved that son absolutely. Fully. The “apple of his eye”. The most special person in the world to him. Daughters and sons keep coming, and because his very nature is love, it isn’t hard for him to love them all absolutely. Fully. Each one his favorite. Not one at the expense of the others.