Hot Potato of Shame pt. 2
God has always been well aware of the shame problem and it’s affects. Adam started passing shame potatoes like a pro right off-the-bat after eating the forbidden fruit. God asks: “Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” Adam’s immediate response was an advanced double-potato-toss: “The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit, and I ate it.” One potato at God. One at Eve. He seems to almost be saying “you guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making me eat that fruit”. He couldn’t live with the shame and tried to pass it off to God and Eve.
I wonder what would have happened if Adam had said, “God, I ate the fruit. I knew I shouldn’t have, I knew I should have said something to Eve, but I didn’t. I messed up. I acted cowardly. I distrusted you. But that was then and this is now. I want to own what I did. Instead of hiding, instead of covering my nakedness, I’m choosing to stand before you. I choose to not hide a single thing from you. I assume full responsibility for what I’ve done. I stand here naked and completely vulnerable. Do what you will to me. Send me to the torture chamber, give me a list of things I can do to repay you, or just wipe me out…..however it is you want to punish me.”
What do you think God would have done? How would history have been different had Adam done that instead of hiding in shame?
I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has scoffed at Adam and Eve for eating from that tree. Every other tree was ok to eat! Everything could have been different! Why would you do that?! It was such a simple command!
But then I eat from that same tree. I ate from it yesterday. I felt shame. It made coming into God’s presence a scary thing to do. What is He going to think? I knew better! He must be mad and disappointed…..The natural tendency is to just stay away from Him and not find out. He is authority. He is power. He is righteousness. He is justice. It would seem best if I just skirted around Him and avoided Him the best I could. I could do it for the rest of my life, and maybe in death I’d escape having to face Him. If I’m afraid it’s a bad idea to avoid him completely, maybe I’ll find a middle-man to deal with God for me. A pastor, preacher, priest, or pope who can interface with him and tell me what to do.
OR!!!
Or maybe I could work really hard to make up for it! Maybe I could go to church every Sunday. Maybe I could give him 10% of my paycheck. Maybe I could travel around the world and help poor people and orphans. Maybe I could carry a cross around and preach the gospel. Maybe I could feel bad about myself my whole life and beat myself up a little to let him know how sorry I am. Maybe then I’d be ok.
But what if……
What if God doesn’t even desire sacrifice? What if he is merciful? What if he could forgive me? What if he is not easily angered? What if he keeps no record of wrongs? What if he is patient and kind? What if he always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres?
Hmm. That sounds like exactly the kind of person I’d like to bare my soul to. If he doesn’t desire to condemn me but to save me…..that would be nice. Yeah, maybe I could bring all my shameful things before him if that were the case. That would be good news……
2 thoughts on “Hot Potato of Shame pt. 2”
I returned to this post after making the mistake of returning to Twitter the week of the Trump tapes and the presidential debates.
This line took on a whole new meaning:
“He couldn’t live with the shame and tried to pass it off to God and Eve.”
The feminist in me (who used to be a tentative one) has been unconsolable and furious at the shaming and the blaming at the forefront of American public discourse lately. It’s a fury that fizzles into despair when I remember how little it can accomplish.
It’s humbling to remember where it all started. To remember how long our relationships between men, women, and God have been broken—that what’s glaring in the spotlight isn’t anything new.
I am blessed to read someone’s account of coming to terms with his own blame and shame, with revelation and repentance. It’s the only hope there is.
That each of us surrenders blame and faces shame and returns to the love of God and talks about it and shows other people all that we know about doing it—this is the hope in all the blaring mess.
I’m reminded we can put real weight down on it and I’m thankful.
“We can put real weight down on it”. This got me thinking of the meaning of that phrase. It’s like we’ve been walking with a crutch not realizing that healing has come and we can “put weight down on it”. If my writing and life can remind people of that, I’ll be happy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.